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Pretty Little Liars Recap: Who is Philip Beer?

pretty little liars march of crimes recap

pretty little liars march of crimes recap

Whoa, whoa,whoa! Someone at Rosewood High is named Phillip Beer?!?! Why is he not on the show? I want to know more abut him. Is he on the swim team like Emily? Is he a brain like Spencer? Does he like comic books like pre-turtleneck Lucas? Does he have a thirst for shoplifting like season one Hanna? With a name like Philip Beer, I feel like PLL would merit from having an episode taking place from Mr. Beer’s perspective of seeing these girls run around school like maniacs.


Poor Hanna. It’s clear to me that she’s is Oprah ugly crying for help, but her friends just fan off her flask-toting ways as just another Hanna-ism. Can we say worst friends ever? She’s made it clear that she wants no part of Alison integrating herself into her home life and the fact that Alison asked Noel to break into her house and terrorize her mother. The walls are closing in and Hanna needs her friends to rally around her and catch before she falls, not push her off the cliff.

Det. Tanner was back at the school and her next target was Fitz and she set her sights on Aria to get information about him. She wanted to know if Fitz may have engaged in extracurricular activities with Shauna. What the hell is Tanner’s end game? It’s been clear since the girls came back from New York that Tanner knows a lot more than she’s letting on.

Meanwhile, Noel was back in town. After it was revealed by Alison that it was Noel who staged the break in at Hanna’s house, he’s back to being public enemy No. 1 with the girls. Emily found photos in Noel’s car that he had from when Alison was supposedly dead. If Noel was supposed to be on Team Alison, why does he have those photos and why is he skulking around town like a creeper?

When Emily confronted Sydney at the eye doctor for failing to mention that she was  BFF’s with Jenna, I’m kinda shocked that they didn’t seem to notice that Jenna and Sydney had some MAJOR twinsies action going on. Then again, Spencer couldn’t even see her feet, but Emily, you should’ve clocked the same outfits girl!


Sydney tried to get back into Emily’s good graces, but Emily ain’t got no time for that! She let Sydney have it for lying to her and informed that she would be taking that assistant coach position and wouldn’t let Sydney out of her sight. Emily is one shady bitch. I like this Emily. I need more of her.

Poor Ella Montgomery. Just before her engagement party, Aria revealed to her that there was a chance that Zack made a pass at Hanna. But instead of flying into a rage, Mrs. Montgomery revealed that this was the first time that Zack acted in that nature. Why is that Ella finally finds someone and he cheats on her just like her first husband. Ay dios mios.

After a confrontation with Noel, I can’t believe that Spencer hasn’t come to realize that she and Noel are on the same side. While Noel helped Alison stay hidden, now that she’s back in the open, she had absolutely no use for him so he had those photos as a means of insurance just in case Alison decided to turn on him. He even believed that he barely made it out alive out of Jenna’s house before it exploded… which Alison might have been behind.

Seriously people!!! You need to stop protecting this girl. She terrorized Hanna’s mom. She potentially blew up Jenna’s house. She’s not answering your questions and lying to your faces. I know that you need to protect her because if the lie she told the police ever got discovered, you all go down. But you can’t let run your lives like she did before she disappeared.

Holy crap! Tanner PD caught the man that kidnapped Alison. But we all know that no one kidnapped her. And judging by the look on Alison’s face, this wasn’t of her doing. Well played A, well played.



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