Following each episode, a cast member of The Real Housewives of Vancouver will blog about her experience on the show for Dose.ca. This week, Ronnie Negus shares her thoughts on her fellow wives, why she decided to do the series and offers forgiveness to Mary.
I became a Real Housewife after my name was given to Lark Production again and again. While Mary initially urged me to fill out an application, I had finally decided to go ahead with it while on a visit to our ranch in Napa Valley, let’s see where it goes!
I wasn’t really taking the offer seriously at all. I mostly filled out the application just for fun. One thing led to the next and I kept getting called back, until the day I got the call that I was the first person to receive the news that I would be on The Real Housewives of Vancouver.
It still took me two months, with a lot of hesitation, to sign the agreement. My husband had mixed feelings about it. We are both fairly private people and the thought of inviting the world into your hearts, home and life was not an easy decision. At the end of the day, I finally decided that I would not let what other people say about me or thought about me dictate my own life experiences. You only live once and life is fleeting; what an interesting opportunity at this stage in my life! (If a reality TV show was not on my bucket list, it was now!)
However, I still felt that I could not only do the show because of this, so I wondered how I could do this show and still feel good about it? The answer was clear – I would do the show for charity for people with disability like my 10 year-old daughter. I’ve always said to my children, “Go into the world and do well, but more importantly, go into the world and do good!” For me, giving my earnings to people in need was the only way I could truly feel good about this.
I knew there would be times on the show where I would stumble and fall; moments, where I couldn’t believe I said this or did that. Those moments that were hard or painful to watch became easier as I knew other people were benefiting from my participation on the show. I’ve also often joked that I did the show because nobody else was dumb enough to do it! Prior to the show, I only really knew Mary, although I did have a connection to Christina. Funny enough, I introduced Mary and Christina at a lunch before we started filming. I had never met Jody or Reiko before.
No matter what Christina’s real age is, I think the world of her. She is a lot of fun and wears her heart on her sleeve. What you see is what you get and I like that.
As for what went wrong with my friendship with Mary, instead of going into a great deal, I will just post a few quotes and leave it at that: “A lie has speed, but truth has endurance…Honesty is the first chapter in the book of wisdom. Those who think it is permissible to tell white lies soon grow colour-blind.” “Always tell the truth, even if you have to make it up (I saw a lot of that going on).” And lastly, my personal favourite: “Sometimes you’re ahead, sometimes you’re behind. The race is long and in the end it is only with yourself.”
I guess the message that I’m trying to convey is to love yourself, be honest, help other people, love unconditionally and leave the world a better place. Everything I ever really needed to know I learned in kindergarten.
I became very close with Reiko and am still very close with her. We have connected as if we have known each other for years. Jody has always been kind to me. She has had my back and I have gotten to know a soft, fun and gentleside of her.
Today, I care for all of them — even Mary. I will love her forever and wish everyone could get along.
It took a while for me to defend Mary (until Jody presented her with legal documents) because I had a lot of hurt feelings. I’m a straight shooter and I call a spade a spade. Even with hurt feelings, I stood up for what was right. I thought some of things Jody did to Mary were unkind and uncalled for. It was very difficult being in the middle. Jody was always very sweet to me while Mary wanted me to not like Jody or speak to her.
Put yourself in my situation: Am I supposed to hate someone who has never done a thing wrong to me and has always been kind because my friend doesn’t like her? Although I can somewhat understand Mary’s point of view, it just seems very high school to me! I really wanted everyone to get along. Life is too short. It was a hard to deal with adult women fighting constantly over and over…for what? Someone’s religion and the goods sold in their store? Aren’t there more important things going on in this world or charities to help?
My children are my life. They mean absolutely everything to me. I feel so extremely blessed to not only call Jhordan my son, but my friend. When I see my children and their behaviour – especially Jhordan rising to the occasion and being the voice of reason, like when he told me to invite Mary to my birthday — I feel that I have really succeeded as a mother. While my husband did not wish to participate on the show, I guess Jhordan kind of filled that gap and he was happy to do so.
I’m not entirely sure how my participation in this show has changed my life, but I hope everyone remembers that we are all just people passing through like everyone else. We are not better than or above anyone else because of our participation on this show. Some may even say that we are dumber than most for doing this show!
Fame should not and hopefully will not change anyone. We all have struggles and victories like everybody else. We all get up and put our jeans on like the rest of the world. I would hope all the wives use their new “star status” to do good, help others and leave the world a better place. While some may love all the attention and feeling like they are some form of a “star” now, I simply feel like I’m a mom first, raising my kids and wondering what to make for dinner.
In closing, I would like to say that even through all the hurt feelings with Mary, and all the text messages that she has shown to the public (I refused to show what was written to me by Mary), I forgive her. I believe forgiveness is one of the greatest human strengths.
To the entire cast, it was a pleasure (even through the good, the bad and the ugly) to have worked with a beautiful and talented group of women. I wish everyone loads of success, health and happiness.
The Real Housewives of Vancouver airs Wednesdays at 10 p.m. ET on Slice.
Previous cast blogs:
Episodes 1 & 2 – Christina Kiesel
Episode 3 – Jody Claman
Episode 4 – Reiko MacKenzie
Episode 5 – Mary Zilba
Episode 6 – Jody Claman (Round 2)
Episode 7 – Kevin Chase
Episode 8 – Mary Zilba (Round 2)
Episode 9 – Jhordan Stevenson
Episode 10 – Christina Kiesel (Round 2)